Super Bad Mario Video

When I first came across this video, I thought the talented creator Pastek was going to go the Superbad movie route based on the name.  While I was wrong on the video direction – this awesome funny retro Mario video is actually about Mario instigating some hilarious fails – the video is still excellent, and still a must see for your Thursday morning.  While you may have seen some of the original fail footage in this film, it doesn’t matter – this video will have you laughing continuously!

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iOS Games We Like: Bill Killem

Over the past fourteen splendid months here at SQ we’ve brought you only the best, filtered iOS games for your iPhone, from the addiction that was Pixel People all the way to my current action-RPG fave Wayward Souls.  This evening however I present to you a different game – Bill Killem – which is not only a phenomenally addictive, and just downright fun retro platformer that’s part Contra and part Majora’s Mask, but something else.  It’s freakin’ free!

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5 Most Frustrating Video Gaming Elements of My Childhood (That Naturally Still Piss Me Off Today)

Video games are supposed to be fun, not frustrating.  Challenging sure, but when you’re seven years old and your parents are helping you fill out your first Anger Management class application because you just pushed over your dad’s brand new Zenith television set after activating real-life beast mode, something is wrong.  Blowing in the ends of NES game cartridges to make them work?  That was fun!  Seeing your AOL Internet connection time out just as your engineer in Command & Conquer was about to capture your opponent’s MCV because your family only had one phone line?  Completely not fun – and you know what, it is still frustrating to think about today.  Come to think of it – I can count five of my most frustrating video game moments from my childhood that still irritate the heck out of me, some twenty plus years later.  Some may classify this as a recurring rage problem; I like to call it simply my passion for (un-interrupted, frustration free) gaming.

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We Want a New Soulblazer

Ah junior high. And bad graphics. And short swords that were supposed to be longer but weren’t. We’re not talking Lagoon here (although that game isn’t far off – the sword in that game was shorter than a toothpick and about as strong). We’re talking about Soulblazer. Time for some retro lovin’.

Soulblazer, for SNES, was the kind of game you’d play when you told your parents you’d be home in 15 minutes. 30 minutes later, you start questioning what was worse, giving up Soulblazer at your friend’s house, or just taking a larger punishment. Normally, the punishment prevailed.

However, now that we’re older (31, but who’s counting?), we want a remake! A no-joke, fully revamped map, fun but devilishly easy combat system, and more runes to collect. And that ball of light that surrounded us? We want him to. He can always come. He brings the party. Continue reading “We Want a New Soulblazer”

Deconstructed Game Controllers

Now this is pretty neat.  While many of us have likely already peered inside some of our favorite game controllers growing up, it probably wasn’t due to taking them carefully apart with a screwdriver – so what if we’ve all smashed a few in a fit of rage?  That’s totally normal, plus you couldn’t save in pretty much any video game back in the 80’s, so what else were we supposed to do?  I digress.  Hit the link below for all the deconstruction photos, and see if you can correctly identify which system each controller belongs to; if you can’t, you were likely born in the 90’s.  Oh, and I’ll help all you young bloods out a little by putting them in chronological order, with the oldest ones first.  And GO!

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Retro Gaming Wallpaper We Like: Link and Epona

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, or more regularly known as “Zelda 64”, or to many of us as “The Greatest Game of All Time”, well, is just that – the greatest game of all time.  It was arguably the first title to receive a perfect score from a major gaming institution (IGN, for example), and has been rehashed and refurbished more times than that DVD player you saw in the checkout aisle at Walgreen’s.  As a huge retro gamer, and one that has strong ties to the legendary N64, Zelda 64 brings back some amazing memories.  My fondest memory comes from my very first play-through after slamming it into my N64 that Christmas break, when I made my final castle run up the tower to confront Ganon; few video games have provided that much exhilaration into an ending, and in my opinion those mini boss fights along the way up are some of the best I have ever experienced in a video game.  But enough of the praise; we all know it was bad ass, and really ahead of its time.  What you’ll find below is an awesome piece of retro gaming wallpaper for your desktop background, and one that would fit perfectly on your computer at work if you’re brave enough to sport it.  This isn’t your typical gaming montage desktop either: although extremely simplistic, it is highly creative and only something us Zelda 64 enthusiasts will really enjoy.  So without further adieu, hit the link below and get ready for the memories!

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5 Video Games That Destroyed My GPA

5 Games That Destroyed My GPA - SlightlyQualified.com

I have been a gamer since my grandmother bought us an NES for Christmas back in the late 80’s, and it’s been a passionate hobby ever since.  Sure I don’t get to play nearly as much as I did when I was a kid growing up (I miss summer break), but that’s life, and I couldn’t be happier right now.  That being said, it’s always fun to get a little nostalgic, especially when we’re talking about retro gaming.  Now that I’m pursuing my MBA, and taking school seriously (thank you Marine Corps!), it makes me laugh pretty hard at how much gaming took priority over my grades, whether I was in eight grade or a senior in college.  Narrowing my list down to the most influentially, GPA-degrading games from my past was hard; my initial brainstorm list totaled 12 pretty prominent games from my school days, so it was pretty tough to pick a Top 5.  But enough with the intro; let’s check out the games!

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Awesome Original EverQuest Ad

Now I really feel old.  Is the original EverQuest really that old?  Released in 1999, before Y2K scared the shit out of just about everyone, and just before this guy was even a junior in high school, EverQuest, and MMORPG’s for that matter, has really come a long way.  Years later EQ fans were introduced to a bland, but still addicting EverQuest 2, and then of course we all know what happened next: WoW.  And in fact, EQ is not quite done as a series, as Sony Online Entertainment has the third main installment in the works, which is tentatively slotted for a late 2013/early 2014 PC release.  But let’s get back to the point here which is the original EverQuest, in which killing rats became many young teenager’s first real job, and where you prayed to your favorite deity that your Aunt Nancy didn’t call to interrupt your 14.4 modem’s blazingly fast, AOL connection.  Yes, let’s jump back to 1999.

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16-Bit Characters in Real Life Photos

Where are all my retro gamers at?  Raise your hand if you grew up on the NES, and if the top two items on your Xmas list started with a Super Nintendo and ended with a Nintendo GameBoy, and I’m talking the old school brick of a GameBoy with a black and white screen.  Color screen?  That wasn’t even a rumor at that point; I think the word “fantasy” is a more apt description.  All of us at that point in the gaming world were longing for realistic graphics, and in the late 80’s/early 90’s, we still had a long ways to go.  The advent of the Super Nintendo really was a neat jump, as it allowed for at tremendous amount more processing power, and maybe above all else, a ton more colors.  It really wasn’t until the N64 however until we really saw an epic graphical jump, and now today, we’re about as realistic as we’re going to get.  Seeing these amazing photochops (easy to do, really) below really brings back some memories, although I’ll admit, there are some characters where I don’t know the game that they’re from.  That’s where you come in; you’re slightly qualified, right?  You raised your hand earlier, didn’t you?

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Who Cares About Microsoft’s Xbox Reveal Day?

Different Strokes Funny Pic - SlightlyQualified.com

Memes never get old, especially when they’re really good.  To be in the upper echelon of funny memes, it all starts with the original background photo.  Sure your captions may be stellar, but you won’t win your audience over unless it really fits well with the background photo.  That being said, the funny gaming meme creation crew around the Internet has been hard at work at pumping out some hilarious ones since yesterday’s “Xbox Reveal Day“, which honestly has created more confusion than there was before.  Although most gaming meme creators have aimed in on the “always-online” Internet connection “feature”, one photochopper decided to spin the reveal in an old-school way that probably only those of us that grew up on the NES would really appreciate.  Hit the link below to see what I mean.

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Fry from Futurama on Extra Lives

Skeptical Fry from Futurama

Oh this one takes me back.  Although my internal clock will turn 30 years of age in just a couple short weeks, I am still proud enough to admit (on the Internet OR in real life) that video games are still a passion of mine.  While I do not have as much free time to crank through game after game on a Saturday, I do get in as much game time as I can.  So what does this have to do with the hilarious Fry from Futurama?  Well, you see, we have a thing for Photochops and memes around these parts; for those of you lucky enough to have experienced our former website, you probably saw some of our best work.  While the image below isn’t our creation, it’s a high quality gaming meme that all of our retro gaming readers will surely appreciate.  It brought me back to the NES days, although I am still trying to remember which games I experienced this in.  Hit the link to reminisce with us!

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Eternal Darkness Sequel Possibly (Hopefully) Coming

Shadow of the Eternals

This Monday a new crowdfund will launch from the hands of some of the original creators of the epic, survival-horror GameCube game, Eternal Darkness, with the hopes that they will be able to fund raise  or “crowdfund”, enough cash to build what the entire fan base has been aching for since 2002: an Eternal Darkness sequel.  The good news is that this does not appear to be fake, as the creator’s have formed a new, legalized development company called Precursor games, and they’ve already published a sneak peak to the proposed sequel, which will be called “Shadow of the Eternals”.  Hit the link below for the official trailer, and more info on this exciting new crowdfund!

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