What will you be doing eleven days from now? In just about a week and a half, a new high school comedy (yes, another one) will be hitting movie theaters, and just might turn out to be one of those diamonds in the rough. The flick is called “The Secret Lives of Dorks”, and while you’ll probably have to Google the main cast, it does feature Jennifer Tilly, Mike Ditka (da Bears!), and the Jim Belushi. I will tell you this: if you put a Belushi in a comedy film, I will seriously consider throwing down a few Lincolns at the theater to watch it on the big screen. On top of that, and probably more importantly, the trailer actually made me laugh. Enjoy the trailer, and hit the link below for our slightly qualified reaction and comments below!
RoboCop Movie Trailer
Raise your hand if you were around in 1987; most of you I am guessing weren’t. I was, but I was only four years old, so the original RoboCop movie didn’t grace my eyes until the early to mid nineties when I witnessed the Paul Verhoeven film for the first time. To call the series “successful” really depends on how you define the word: in the box office, RoboCop destroyed its competition, spawning two sequels that ended up in most folks’ VHS collections (or “LaserDisc”!). Although some publications rate the original RoboCop as one of the greatest action films of all time, I have always thought it was pretty lame. So here we go yet again, with the official trailer for RoboCop (otherwise known as RoboCop 4 in my opinion), starring Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Gary Oldman; enjoy the footage, and hit the link below for my trailer reaction below.
Kid Avoids Banana Peels, Drives Grandma to Safety
Yes, I said banana peels. Just over three weeks ago, a 10-year old gamer from Colorado was riding with this grandmother when she unexpectedly experienced a heart attack behind the wheel. With his 4-year old little brother in the back seat of Grandma’s Buick sedan, Gryffin Sanders grabbed the steering wheel and calmly steered the speeding vehicle off the highway and into safety. What does he credit for his successful driving skills? Mario Kart. Chalk one up for the “I told you video games are useful!” crowd. Full awesome story below.
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Video Games and Blanket Forts; Yes, Blanket Forts
Alright fellas, raise your hand if you ever built a fort in your living room or basement when your buddies came over as a kid. Yeah, we all did; ladies, many of you probably did the same. We also probably both played a crap load of video games when we had our friends over. Since I am now at the ripe age of 30 years, it was primarily the NES, then SNES, Sega Genesis and N64 which carried the bulk of the gaming load, with quite a bit of PC gaming in there as well, courtesy of the entire Command & Conquer franchise (which I dominated, naturally). But when does the slumber party/fort building/male or female bonding go a little too far? Oh, there are lots of ways; I won’t let your imagination stop running. If you really want do laugh, or maybe shudder is a better word, then click below for the oddest slumber party/male bonding experience you will likely ever witness in your lifetime.
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A Little (Literally) Drunk Baby for Your Saturday Night
It’s Saturday night: do you know where your baby is? He’s not out getting shmammered with the boys, is he? If you have not experienced the meme phenomenon that is “Drunk Baby”, then let me be the first to introduce you to the myth, the man (well, little man?), the legend that is Drunk Baby.
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Microsoft Claims Xbox One Will Be Break-Even or Profitable on Launch
Yusuf Mehdi, a senior vice president of the Windows giant’s Online Audience Business Group has placed Microsoft’s profitability bet, and it’s a steep one: “break-even or profitable on Day 1”. Mehdi, a 21-year veteran of Microsoft Corp. with degrees from Princeton and Washington (BA Econ + MBA, respectively), is not only a smart dude, but incredibly successful. According to his CrunchBase profile, he has led or been at the forefront at some of Microsoft’s, and even Reuters’ (his previous professional stop) biggest achievements. He’s looking to add the Xbox One to his list of professional accomplishments, and with launch day just 16 days or so away, the day of reckoning is just around the corner. So how realistic is this bet that he dropped this past Tuesday at the Citi Global Technology Conference? Would you take it? Based off his credentials alone, I think many folks would; as always however, there is more to the story line.
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What to Watch on Netflix: Flowchart FTW
Netflix has transformed the entire movie rental industry, putting Blockbuster out of business, along with every single “mom and pop” video rental store in the world with its online movie rental, disc-to-door and zero late fees service. This shouldn’t be breaking news to anyone; if it is, well, you’re welcome! With competition however comes, or should come more product enhancements and diversification, which is exactly what Netflix did with its more recent foray into a digital-only service, which allows its members to stream their favorite movies and television shows right to their flat screen tv’s, iPhones, and iPads without even having to get up off the couch. I’m a very happy Netflix digital subscriber, but those who join me in that subscriber group are well aware of the only true, major downside (if you can really argue one for an $8/month service) in that the movie selection is really limited. Unless you like movies like “Life After Porn Ends”, and other “they really made a documentary out of that?”-type titles, which is cool, I guess. Regardless though, you can’t beat $8 bucks a month, and there are plenty of awesome TV shows to keep you entertained before the next major movies get released on your home menu (Archer, Arrested Development, Mad Men, etc), but I digress. What you are about to encounter below is something that every Netflix fan should keep on hand, whether on hand, or hanging on your wall: it’s a “What to Watch on Netflix Flowchart”, and to call it “comprehensive” would be an understatement of epic proportions.
Proof That You Should Never Be a Bard
If you’ve never played a role playing game before, then you will likely not get the humor in this post. RPG’s over the years have enabled gamers to create their own characters, and then jump into a massive gaming experience that can span more than 100 hours of complex game play. Although each RPG allows gamers to select their character from a set selection of “classes”, some classes are more rare than others. The “Bard” in particular, is probably the rarest of them all, and in my opinion, for good reason. If you’ve never heard of bards before, much like my advice in the beginning of this post, it would probably behoove you to move on to some of our other, slightly qualified content, because this may be lost on you. Let me get to the point: why oh why would a gamer create a bard, whose primary weapon is a musical instrument, over say a warrior or a mage, who carry a sword or lethal doses of magic, respectively? Oh, what’s that you say? The bard is crucial to the team because he can boost morale? Excuse me while I step outside and attempt to recover my professionalism. If there has ever been a laughingstock class in RPG’s, it’s the bard. Sorry to all those who have posters of bards on their walls, but seriously, there can’t be many of you. So what’s this “proof” that I speak of, you ask? After all, it is the title of this post. Hit the link below, and prepare yourself for at least 10 minutes of genuine hilarity and satisfaction!
Retro Gaming Wallpaper We Like: Link and Epona
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, or more regularly known as “Zelda 64”, or to many of us as “The Greatest Game of All Time”, well, is just that – the greatest game of all time. It was arguably the first title to receive a perfect score from a major gaming institution (IGN, for example), and has been rehashed and refurbished more times than that DVD player you saw in the checkout aisle at Walgreen’s. As a huge retro gamer, and one that has strong ties to the legendary N64, Zelda 64 brings back some amazing memories. My fondest memory comes from my very first play-through after slamming it into my N64 that Christmas break, when I made my final castle run up the tower to confront Ganon; few video games have provided that much exhilaration into an ending, and in my opinion those mini boss fights along the way up are some of the best I have ever experienced in a video game. But enough of the praise; we all know it was bad ass, and really ahead of its time. What you’ll find below is an awesome piece of retro gaming wallpaper for your desktop background, and one that would fit perfectly on your computer at work if you’re brave enough to sport it. This isn’t your typical gaming montage desktop either: although extremely simplistic, it is highly creative and only something us Zelda 64 enthusiasts will really enjoy. So without further adieu, hit the link below and get ready for the memories!
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Wolfenstein: The New Order Delayed to 2014
Wolfenstein. If you’re not old enough to remember Adolf Hitler with chain guns for hands, then you really missed out. Well, if that’s the case, you missed out on a slew of awesome gaming experiences from the 80’s. But before I get all retro on the fifty of you or so that actually read SQ on a daily basis, let’s comment on some gaming news, shall we? The New Order, the latest “Wolfenstein” installment from Bethesda Softworks was originally slated for a holiday 2013 release, but apparently it needs polish. So much polish that the development crew slid it all the way to “sometime in 2014”. Although that doesn’t sound promising, the game is not dead in the water yet. Caress that link below for a link to the news release, and of course, our Pulitzer-esque commentary.
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300: Rise of an Empire Trailer
This isn’t Sparta, it’s SQ, but 300 was such a bad ass action movie, you knew they were going to unleash a sequel to keep the green-screened cash cow going. Although the film is still about 9 months out, the first official trailer is absolutely jaw dropping: all of the violence, details, and dark, ominous tones (to quote Peter Bretter from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) are back, along with some new faces, to include former Casino Royale “Bond Girl” Eva Green. Also new to the green screen is a completely different battlefield: the sea. Had I realized that prior to watching the trailer, the Marine in me would have been a little discouraged, but after watching the trailer, this thing will still be epicly violent, and yes, epicly is a word in my book. 300: Rise of an Empire lands in theaters March 7th, 2014, and this is one you will not want to miss – trust me.
Anchorman 2 Trailer: It’s Science
Is it December yet? Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is the long-awaited and anticipated sequel to in my opinion, Will Ferrell’s best film as a leading role, and this December the entire Channel 4 news team will finally land in theaters in what will surely find epic box office success. All of your favorites are back: Steve Carell as Brick Tamland (“Brick, are you inviting me to a party in your pants?”), street reporter Brian Fantana played by Paul Rudd, Champ “Whammy” Kind, and even Miss Veronica Corningstone and the wheel-of-cheese eating, Spanish-speaking dog, Baxter. I think it’s safe to expect a truckload of big-time celebrity cameos as well, although I don’t know if anything can top the original, news team, back-alley brawl to the death; I guarantee they’ll try though! The official trailer is above, and it does not disappoint; this is Will Ferrell in his prime!