So there I am, driving to work down here in Houston on Wednesday morning, jumping back and forth between my two morning radio stations, Mike and Mike on ESPN, and 94.5 The Buzz’s Rod Ryan Morning Show (Sorry Tebo, I’m getting Pandora TODAY), when Rod starts talking about a new product that they just received: the Flat-D fart neutralizer. I know what you’re thinking: I thought it was a joke too, but then the company’s founder got on the air from Hawaii and talked about how his products actually work to essentially filter out the odor from your farts, so your office mates will stop throwing shit at you and running for the break room once your morning Chernobyl routine commences. As a male, and someone who is probably more than slightly qualified in this area of life discussion, I want one. More after the jump!
Products We Want to Test: Flat-D Fart Neutralizer
Seriously, Flat-D Innovations Inc., we would be more than happy to test run one of these out for you, because we know our audience aligns with your targeted demographic. I’ll throw down for one if it comes down to it, but I know you’re seeing our traffic from this page, so hook us up and we’ll have the Flat-D reviewed ASAP! Okay, enough with the B2B flattering – let’s cover what kind of product options us guys have.
For guys we basically have three options: a brief-insert, or two different sized odor-eliminating pads for our chairs. While I have always been a boxer kind of guy, I guess I would have to either switch to support mode or go with a pad for my desk chair, since it appears that Flat-D just won’t work with boxers (kinda hard to create a seal). Regardless, all three products have the same odor-eliminating process: fart leaves your system and passes through the Flat-D filtration product, which extracts or filters out the odor, and results in a smell-less aroma around you. Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I want to try one too! My only question/concern: do these Flat-D products suppress sound as well? Probably not, haha! Translation: everyone in your office will know you’re still calling Aflac, but hey at least the smell is gone!
What About the Ladies in SQ Nation?
Good news ladies, Flat-D can neutralize those negligent odor discharges just as easily, and in the same fashion as the gents. You’ve got three different options as well, which you can find right here from Flat-D’s official website/store.
What is most intriguing about these products in all honesty is the price: all the products seem fairly priced, and definitely won’t break your wallet if you decide to give one or more of them a whirl. Again, Brian Conant and Flat-D, if you’re reading this, we would love to test one of these out if you’re interested in a high-impact product review!
The Flat-D is definitely a product we want to try – stand by for more product reviews, and more great content right here at SQ! Thanks to Flat-D and the stellar Rod Ryan Morning Show for the scented enlightenment! Stay classy SQ!